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“I discovered that when I believed my thoughts, I suffered, but that when I didn’t believe them, I didn’t suffer, and that this is true for every human being. Freedom is as simple as that. I found that suffering is optional. I found a joy within me that has never disappeared, not for a single moment. That joy is in everyone, always.” ~ Byron Katie
Our story is a reflection of the thoughts and beliefs we have about who we are, what we can attain, what we can accomplish and what we’re worthy of receiving. Who would you be without your story? You know, the story you tell yourself everyday about who you think you are. The story of your worth and value. The story of the many things you have experienced, that you wish you could change. The story about why the person you loved left you. The heart wrenching story you replay over and over in your mind of the betrayal and rejection you experienced, by those you loved the most. Reliving the childhood story that you’ll never be good enough.
The negative story we tell ourselves, tends to….
- depress us…rather than elevate us.
- anger us…rather than calm us.
- breed chaos in our lives…rather than harmony.
- bring about confusion…rather than mental clarity.
- drain us…rather than energize us.
- attract the things we don’t want…rather than the things we desire.
- drive people away…rather than deepen our relationships.
I want to invite you to change your story.
To change your story, you must change your thoughts. To change your thoughts, you must change your beliefs. Frank Outlaw said,
“Watch your thoughts, they become words;
watch your words, they become actions;
watch your actions, they become habits;
watch your habits, they become character;
watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”
As a coach, I get to experience up close and personal, how negative thoughts and belief systems prevent many of my clients from living their best lives now. There negative thoughts and beliefs have placed a lid on their happiness, potential and effectiveness.
To begin the journey of changing your story, I want to suggest you take these seven steps…
1. Ask yourself the following questions…
- What is the “truth” about my story?
- Who have I become as a result of my story?
- Who would I be without my story?
- Why must I change my story?
2. Feel and embrace every emotion that surfaces
As you answer each question above, you will experience a myriad of emotions. Don’t dismiss or ignore them, FEEL them. If you need to scream, scream. If you need to cry, cry. If you need to hit something, punch a pillow. Just stay in the moment and summon the courage to embrace what comes.
3. Envision the life you desire
Schedule time to visualize the life you desire. When you are living your best life, what does it look like, feel like, sound like, smell like, taste like? What are you doing? What new relationships have you developed? Who’s no longer in your life? How much energy and vitality do you have? Where do you work? Where do you live? What are you passionately pursuing? Next, write down everything you envisioned and experienced during the exercise.
4. Write a new story
Review your notes and write a new story. That’s right…create the life you desire! Don’t focus on how you’re going to get there, just focus on the WHY!
5. Identify the habits, behaviors, thoughts and beliefs that are not congruent with your new story
To change your life, you must change anything that doesn’t serve you; that’s not in alignment with what you are endeavoring to create. On a sheet of paper, list every habit, behavior, thought and belief that is not congruent with your new story.
6. Create “positive” affirmations to help you begin to reprogram your subconscious mind for success
Affirmations are words or phrases, said repeatedly, which affirms a single thought about yourself or other people. Affirmations become beliefs. This is how your internal programming was created. When you repeat something over and over, it becomes impressed upon your subconscious mind. This impression becomes a belief, which becomes your reality. Whatever you repeatedly say, your subconscious mind accepts it as true, whether it is or not. You will need to create positive affirmations, to assist you in creating and living your new story.
Review the list of every negative habit, behavior, thought and belief you wrote down, and write a positive affirmation to counteract them. Here are some examples:
|Negative Affirmations||Positive Affirmations|
|I am so unhealthy. I don’t take care of myself.||I am healthy and make daily commitments to live a healthy lifestyle.|
|I will never find a good job.||I am working at a job that I love and am able to make significant contributions.|
|I don’t have enough resources to make this happen.||I have everything I need to accomplish my dreams.|
7. Increase your awareness of what you say when you talk to yourself
Many of us have a chronic problem of negative self-talk. I’ll prove it to you. For one day, I want you to wear rubber band around your wrist. Every time you say something unkind or negative about yourself, I want you to pop yourself. I have had a few of my clients do this for a week. Within 24-hours, they were astounded by their level of negative self-talk and complained about the pain to their wrist. I insisted that they wear the rubber band for an entire week and asked them, “Would you rather experience this pain for 7 days, or experience the pain of not changing for 7 more years.”
I want you to increase your awareness about the things you say when you talk to yourself. As soon as you say something negative, I want you to immediately cancel it and say something positive. Remember…
your words create your world!
I am the first to say that changing your story is not easy, but it’s necessary. Joyce Meyer said, “You can suffer the pain of change or suffer remaining the way you are.”
I wish you much success on your journey.
CHANGE YOUR STORY AND ASPIRE TO GREATNESS!
Your Friend and Partner-In-Success